My name is Kathy. I was born on the 13th of February. I am in my 5th year of college, and I should be graduating in March.
I like playing games, listening to music, and reading webcomics. I snack constantly and eat meals at odd hours, and I most enjoy singing when I’m alone. I like to talk to strangers and research random topics on the internet, and I think I type pretty fast. I enjoy drawing and creating graphics, but I’ve never been confident enough in my art to take it seriously. I select and re-select electronic text obsessively, and I like reading out loud in a variety of silly voices. My handwriting changes based on what type of pen I’m using and how I’m holding it. I Google words and phrases constantly in an effort to be as correct as possible, and I reread and edit everything I write hundreds of times before I deliver them.
This is my first attempt in 22 years to stop and rethink myself and my life.
Up until a few weeks ago, I felt like I was in control. I felt like I knew what I liked, what I wanted to do, and how to get there. I felt secure in my relationships, my education, and my eventual career.
Then one day, I realized I was no longer sure.
I no longer knew if I was pursuing the right things. I no longer know what I’m actually good at or what I enjoy doing. Thinking back on all the years I’ve dedicated to a variety of causes and projects, I can no longer say with certainty that I am doing what I love or that I feel accomplished or that I am on my path to success.
I made this Tumblr about 5 years ago, sometime during my senior year of high school. I never understood the Tumblr community or how people used hash tags or what “reblogging” was. I spent most of my time here following my friends and their posts with little interest in contributing any content myself.
I’m still not particularly thrilled to be publishing my words to whoever may care to read this, but I need a place to house my thoughts. I’ve had private blogs before – hell, even private Tumblrs that I used as journals sporadically – but I think it’s about time I stopped hiding in an age where personal lives are no longer secret.
I’m hoping I can remain dedicated to what I’ve started. I want to write about what I can remember about my past and figure out who I am and who I really want to be.
If you are reading this, thank you for joining me. I don’t know where I’m headed or if I’m going to get there, but I sure as hell want to try.